Birthday Advice to my 13-year Old Self

One of my all-time favorite birthdays was when I turned 13 years of age.  I had my first slumber party with some of my favorite friends and even got to wear my brand new green-colored Levi Strauss jeans.  I had wanted those jeans all year and remember the pure joy of seeing my reflection of these jeans that hugged my tiny waist and newly forming hips in all the right places.

But what I remember most, was the feeling that something changed on this day.  Finally, I was a TEENAGER.  Life would now make sense, or so I thought.  But 20 years later, as I sip my green tea wearing my favorite pair of Gap jeans on my birthday morning I am blessed and aware that things do seem to make a lot more sense.

So here is some birthday advice I would send to my 13-year old self:

1.  Embrace your differences.  Growing up biracial in Dublin, Ireland, was a unique challenge to the normal awkwardness of being a teenage girl.  My skin was 'tanner' and my hair frizzier than most my friends...I was definitely different! I was blessed to always feel accepted by my friends and my family need to write a book on what amazing race relations truly means, but I longed to 'fit in'.  Now, I know that my differences have made me who I am am and given me the superpower of being color blind when it comes to race.

2.  Your Parents Don't Know it all but they do Know a Lot.  Yep, as almost every teenager can attest, my parents were strong figures in my life trying hard to steer me the right way.  "Uh, I wish they would just go away!" I remember thinking.  Now, all of their advice is the foundation for how I live my life.  Mom and Dad, you were right-- I have thanked God for your presence in my life.

3. Church is not a Building it starts in your heart.  As a young girl I spent many Saturdays kneeling before a priest confessing the fact that I hit my brother, yet again. Over time I became fearful of religion and God and wandered around trying to find myself.  Now, I am closer to God that I have ever been and I know that a building is not the Church, it starts in me.  Amen!

4. Make sure to find a boy that makes you laugh more than he makes you cry.  One of my first crushes was Claudio, a beautiful boy I met while living in Italy.  He spoke little English but we had so much fun together and laughed every day.  He once told me in his broken-English Italian accent, "Life is bellisimo, remember to love a man that makes you, er how do you say....smile!"  Truer words have never been said.

5. Pain and hardships are part of life... do not be afraid when they arrive. Fairy tales and movies created a world where pain is usually short-lived and all ends well.  Through my pain and sorrow I have learned to accept the good and bad as the natural order of the Universe.  Strength is not always built by laughing.

6.  Tanning beds are dangerous... avoid.  Yes, as the lightest child of my siblings I may have gone through a tanning bed addiction.  Bad, bad, bad...

7.  Healthy is better than skinny.  At age 13, I probably weighed around 100 pounds and remember believing I was a little chubby.  Over the years, I have tried quite a few diets some way less healthy than others and have been quite a few different clothing sizes.  Even at my skinniest, I was smoking, hardly eating and had no energy.  Today, I am healthy and happy with my body, which I now know is a vessel that I do not compare to others.

8. The world is small... make a big impact.  It was during my teenage years, when I knew I wanted to travel in my future.  I do now consider myself a global citizen and have become so full along my travels.

9.  Whatever you do.. never say "I can't" because you are what you think.  If you can see it, you can achieve it.  (Thanks R. Kelly)

10.  Be YOU! I am silly, sarcastic, emotional, talker, quiet, inquisitive, colorful...just me.  And you know what, I'm finally OK with ALL of me.


Happy Birthday to Me!!!

P.S.  Colored jeans are back in style, you were ahead of your time girl :-)

The Note Cards

In order to earn my undergraduate degree I, like many before me, had to take quite a few general education classes.  Most of these classes were boring and seemed like a futile way to spend a morning or an afternoon.  However one class that left a strong imprint on my college journey was a spirituality class called "The Power of the Goddess."

Yes, as the class name suggests it had strong themes of feminism and the wonder of woman. But it also had a fundamental life lesson weaved throughout: the human connection can take many forms and inspire in many ways.

Tonight as I got my usual burst of speed-like energy after doing my evening P90X exercise DVD, I had the urge to clean out some papers of a random box of papers in our garage.  As I opened the box earnestly, there they sat...a pile of crisp white note cards with handwritten notes on them all addressed to me.

A decade has passed since my Goddess class did our final assignment of writing personalized notes of encouragement to each other.  And there, in this 'random' box that I decided NEEDED to be cleaned out tonight, lay a pile of encouragement from Mark, Manuela, Abbie and 20 other former college peers who I somehow managed to lose touch with.

As I sat at my kitchen table and read these notes... something magical happened.  I began to remember the senior college-student Fiona.  Eager, excited, determined and hopeful...was the description being artistically painted in my mind through other's words.  And I was reminded that although a decade has passed and life has gone on, these notes may have been one of the most important college homework assignments we did.

Tears of gratitude welled up in my eyes, knowing that my professor was right...the human connection of these people, in that classroom, at that time made a powerful impact.  So THANK YOU Mark, Manuela, Abbie and the 20 other former college peers who gave me a reminder message of inspiration 10 years later.

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM THE NOTE CARDS:


"I think that as a woman it is wonderful that you honor the Goddess that lies within.Always remember that strength of womanhood." -- Beth


"Fiona, I admire your determination to make the world a better place.  Good luck!" -- Lana


"I admire you for being creative and having the vision to see the world as it could be."  --Manuela


"You hold your family and friends close. I've noticed over the semester that you are also very proud of what challenges you have overcome knowing that they make you stronger." -- Mark